Keeping the Faith

Life is fundamentally flawed. Every day contains ups and downs and there is no guarantee you will have an opportunity to see tomorrow. Shockingly we face life and death situations more often than we realize. But there is no crystal ball. No glimpse into the future. No certainty of anything. It’s scary. The fear is amplified when you’re a parent. As any parent can attest, you’ll never sleep the same after you have children. You worry. Constantly worry about the health and safety of your most precious assets.

Our experiences, as parents of a child with cancer, have taken us down a path we could never have prepared for. When we project our future and attempt to look into the “crystal ball” we struggle and we become overwhelmed with the thoughts and possibilities of terrible outcomes. It consumes us. If we’re not preoccupied or busy running around chasing our kids, our minds can begin to wander. Wandering minds don’t usually paint the picture of kittens and rainbows. I’m sorry for being brutally honest here, but we’ve dealt with some shit and we’ve seen how bad things can get. People constantly tell us how “strong we are”. I’m not sure how true that is because we have so much fear and anxiety concerning the unknown.

The unknown. We’re reminded that everyone - each and every person - has no guarantee of tomorrow. So what keeps us grounded? What keeps us rooted to our sanity and gives us fuel to continue moving forward? To me, it’s faith. My favorite definition of the word “Faith” is a firm belief in something in which there is no proof. Wow - that sounds crazy. How could we believe in something which we’ve never witnessed or experienced? We do it every day. Want to bet the sun will rise in the east and set in the west tomorrow? Don’t we all kind of have faith that tomorrow will take place? Why should faith in life and our future be any different? The only explanation for these questions I can think of is that most of us take it all for granted. Can you see the point I’m trying to make? Don’t take tomorrow for granted. Don’t take your children or your spouse for granted. Attempt to live in the moment as much as possible and cherish the things around you as often as you can remind yourself. Annie and I get lost in the shuffle of chaos and raising three independent daughters that we forget sometimes, too. Usually, one of us picks the other one up and reminds them to have faith that tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow we’ll get Harper to school on time if we didn’t today. Tomorrow we’ll make sure Quinn eats more vegetables and less cheese. Tomorrow we can work towards a cure - to get Viv better.

It’s some combination of faith and hope that we all need in order to survive and attempt to live our best life. I don’t want to know the future. It might affect how we live today. I don’t want a crystal ball, either. While the unknown, the future, can be a scary thing, it’s faith and hope that will help us project brighter days and allow us to enjoy what we have in front of us. For now, we’re keeping the faith.

Keep on praying. Not just for Viv or our family - but for anyone who lives in fear not knowing what tomorrow will bring.

VIVSTRONG